Watanabe Update

Does anyone ever check the blog anymore? It was such a good idea and I have failed to do my part to contribute monthly as was my goal.
The Watanabes are loving life in Blacksburg VA. Did you know that Blacksburg was voted the 'best town to live in' by a few different magazines? Well we believe it. Here are some of the wonderful things about Blacksburg that we love:
     It is beautiful! It is green everywhere with rolling hills and mountains everywhere. A wonderful fog lies in the valley where we live nearly every morning. There is a train that chugs through our area. You can hear it but can only see parts of it through the trees. It is quaint. Little farms and old barns are everywhere. Our house is right next to an old cemetery and Baptist church. We saw a head stone that was from the 1800s. The beauty here continues to impress us.
    The elementary school the kids go to is the best that we have been to. This is our 5th elementary school. Now I know this may not make sense but I tend to rate a school based on how much homework they send home. The first day Nellie came home and the teacher made the note that the homework should never take more than 5-10 minutes. If it did then the homework should be sent back unfinished. So to me that sends a message that the school values family time and play time. It also is an indicator that they are efficient with their teaching time at school.
    The community is so family friendly. From the elementary schools to Virginia Tech there are free events and activities regularly. The students at Virginia Tech go into the schools and offer free clubs. Our kids have been in the following clubs thus far: German Club, Computer Club, Nature Club, and Vet Club. Also STEM programs are abundant here offering educational activities all the time.
     The people here are happy, friendly, and God fearing. Churches are everywhere. The community is service oriented. Blacksburg has many different organizations to help the less fortunate. Blacksburg has welcomed about 5 different refugee families and has provided housing, clothing, furniture, etc. for them. There are plenty of opportunities to help. I know this is the case everywhere but in Blacksburg they are very organized about it and very inclusive to give people chances to serve.
     We have a great ward! It is a strong ward. We are needed but not desperately. So it feels great to be somewhere with needs somewhere between our Texas ward and Utah wards. Deron and I are ward missionaries. We've really enjoy this calling.

So on to the latest news. Deron took and passed the CMA test last semester. The CMA is equivalent to the CPA but is for Managerial Accounting. I was nervous that he took that on along with the first semester in the PhD program. But he did and he did well on both. He impresses me with his constant desire to learn and improve. So far on my end this PhD thing hasn't been too taxing on our family. Deron is good about getting home at a decent hour and spending time with us. It actually seems like he has more time now with us then he ever did in the work force.

Annie is playing basketball for the first time and she enjoys that. She has made some very good friends. She is growing! And is on the cusp of being a young woman!!

Luke is always busy with something. He loves playing basketball. He loves teaching his sisters things. He loves reading Harry Potter. He loves writing. He just is a happy playful kid.

Nellie is Luke's right hand man. She and he are the best of buds and it warms my heart to see them enjoy each other so much. She has a goofy personality and certain skills that remind me of myself. I am really enjoying her at this age.

Nancy is 5! She's dying to go to school! Thus far its just been her and me having lessons at home. She is always great company.

Charles is turning to be a great kid as he learns more and more independence.

Eve brings smiles to our faces every day.

Did I mention I get to play volleyball with a pretty good group here? Well I do and I love it.

Sure miss you all!
Lori

K-town Ortons

School is back in FULL swing and all I can say is...I miss summer!  No really, it's been a crazy year so far.  I was asked to have a student teacher in my class this fall and I agreed.  She came the first day of school and although it's been nice having another adult in the class, it's also been a little stressful.  I didn't realize how hard it would be to hand over control of my classroom, especially at the beginning of the year when teaching procedures and routines is SO vital.  I feel like my class is a little out-of-control.  She is trying hard, but there is something to be said for experience in the teaching profession and natural ability.  She has two more weeks in my class, and then I can finally become the teacher again.  I've REALLY missed it!  I've always had a big mouth and had a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I feel something needs to be said, so it's been a REAL struggle to control myself when I can clearly see a better way to teach something.  Hahaha!

We are adjusting well to our new ward.  Kevin and I are both in Young Men/Young Women.  It makes for a crazy Wednesday night, but it's always fun to be with the youth.  Abby seems to be fitting in with the girls in our ward.  It was very hard for her to leave our old ward, so I'm happy she's found some friends.  Trent and Claire never complain about primary so I think they are happy too.

Abby is surviving high school so far.  She is BUSY BUSY!  Between dance, school, and friends we don't see much of the girl.  She's handling it all like a champ!  She had her eyes checked last week because she's been complaining about not being able to see the board.  Sure enough, she needed glasses!  Looks like she was blessed with my acne and her dad's eyes.  Poor thing!  Good thing she's got so many other GREAT traits.

Speaking of eyes, Trent will be going under the knife again next month to attempt to straighten those suckers. His surgery is scheduled for Oct. 17th.  We are confident in his doctor and optimistic that everything will turn out great.  I'll give you more details as we get closer as I'm sure we will need a family fast on his behalf.

Claire has started piano lessons (finally) and is in full swing with dance and gym.  I've sure missed having her in my class this year, but she loves her new teacher and has had a great year so far.

Kevin and I are excited to fly to New York City next month and also visit Boston.  We haven't been back to NYC since 2001 and we've never been to Boston.  I'm really looking forward to seeing the East Coast in the Fall.

Life is GOOD!  We love you dear family and hope you are all well!

Nicki

Our Lying Reflex, By Travis

Once when I was a teenager, I was playing cards at Scout camp with the other boys. The game was called “BS” and it involves lying in an attempt to get rid of cards at the expense of the other players. I remember we asked the chaperones if they wanted to play, and they gladly joined us. One of the chaperones was my Bishop, and as the game progressed, it became clear he wasn't “BS-ing” like the rest of us. After the game I asked him why he hadn't lied, and he simply said he didn't want to make a habit of lying, even in the little things. Was the Bishop unnecessarily zealous with his honesty? Perhaps not. Research shows that dishonesty has harmful effects.

In one study, participants were given a polygraph (lie detector test) once a week for 10 weeks. Half the participants were coached on how to be more honest. The other half were given no instructions. At the end of the 10 weeks, the participants were asked about various aspects of their health. Those who had been coached on how to lie less (and as a result had actually lied less) reported improvements in their relationships, less trouble sleeping, less tension, and fewer headaches than the others. But dishonesty doesn't just destroy your health, it also messes with your mind.

Dishonesty can be just as addictive as drugs and alcohol. This is because it triggers the same reward system as other addictive substances. Here is how it works...

We are dishonest for a variety of reasons, but they are all selfish in nature and can be categorized into a few major types: to get something (stealing or manipulating), avoiding loss (having to pay for something, having to give something up), avoiding conflict (“your butt looks good in those jeans,” “yes I paid the electric bill on time”), protecting our self esteem (often involves leaving out details or exaggerations, “I didn't do anything wrong and they fired me,” “the fish was THIS big”) or avoiding consequences (“sorry I was late for work but I was stuck in traffic).

When we are dishonest, we are typically “rewarded” for that dishonesty by either gaining something or avoiding some consequence. As a response, our brain sends out a shot of dopamine to say “that was a good thing and you should do it again.” Because we are rewarded for our bad behavior, the neurotransmitters in our brain create a short-cut to that behavior so that we are more likely to respond that way in the future. That short-cut gives us a type of “lying reflex.” This reflex kicks in when we are under stress or facing a challenge, and so we lie as a response to those situations. Most of the time this occurs without us even thinking about it.

But you might be asking, “doesn't being honest have its rewards as well?” It does, but the reward is often a long-term reward rather than an immediate reward. We see this with other addictive substances as well. For example, heroin that is smoked provides an instant high and an instant connection between behavior and reward. It is easy for our brain to correlate the cause and effect and make a short-cut that increases our chances of smoking heroin again. But if you take heroin in a pill, the effect from the high is not as instant. And so the brain doesn't make as strong of a connection between behavior and reward. Thus, heroin is less addictive if taken via pills.

It is the same with honesty...the rewards are typically not instant, so we don't get the same shot of dopamine when we are honest. The reward comes further down the road, and the brain doesn't make as strong of a connection between behavior and reward. In simplest terms, our brain doesn't reward us for being honest, only the natural consequences of an honest life do. So how do we overcome our “lying reflex?”

If we have dug deep pathways between dishonesty and rewards, stopping our dishonesty can be like trying to get the Colorado River to flow some other direction than right down the middle of the Grand Canyon. But remember the people in the study who were coached on how to be honest, and consequently were more honest? We can change. My Bishop’s example is a good place to start...by being honest in the little things. Small lies lubricate our “lying reflex.” To counter this, we have to consciously stop ourselves when we are about to tell a lie, especially a small one. And we have to admit to our dishonesty when we have been dishonest, no matter the consequences.

This process will eventually begin to peel away the layers of our behavior and re-route the neurotransmitters in our brain towards honest behavior. But be patient. It took years to form the habit of dishonesty, and will take years to change. I'd be lying if I told you otherwise.

Trying this again...

Family,

I'm sorry to report that our old blog somehow disappeared into cyberspace.  We haven't been able to access it in months.  I will keep trying, but I'm afraid the site no longer exist.  Blogger is a much more reliable site, so hopefully that will never happen again. SO SAD!

So I guess we are starting from scratch.  I'm going to make it private, but invite all of you to be administrators so that way you can post whenever you want.  I think it would be great if everyone tried to post at least 1-3 times every 3 months.  Monthly updates are strongly encouraged! I know life is busy, but our hope is this will be a family journal we can pass on to our posterity.  

Loves,

Nicki